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My bottom is glowing red with the heat and pain of the continued spanking. MY world revolves around this pain. I have become one with it. My body moves with the rhythm of the pain I feel and my breathing steadies to follow its pattern. But I still will not let it go. In the next instant the pain becomes a little more intense and I realise you are no longer using just your hands. I moan low in my throat as you strike my bottom again and again with a leather paddle. My arms strain against the hoisted cuffs and sweat pours from my body and face. Let it out Teresa! the pain screams to me again and I sob loudly, shaking my head yelling at it. "I can't damn you.. I can't!" My body hums with the pain and my struggle to hold on to my emotions. I feel myself weakening and I take deep pain-filled breaths to try to gain some semblance of control but it is too late. I know the end is nearing and I am so scared. "Please! Please help me!" I beg you in my mind, the words never escaping my lips. All. My mind goes on and on, horrible rushing thoughts moving on their own momentum. After a while, i don't know how long, i realize that i have no idea how long i will be standing in the corner. For all i know my time is almost up and i have nothing to say for myself. i try to calm down and think back to what He said to me - what i am supposed to be thinking about? It takes a minute, an eternity, but i am able to remember. Why could i not bring myself to meet Him? The reason is i panicked. Pure and simple. i acted out of fear. Why did i panic? Why did i have this fear? What has He said or done to make me feel that He is releasing me and taking a new sub? i didn't really know. my brain takes comfort in the challenge of figuring out a puzzle. as more minutes pass, i am given to logical thought, and my emotions calm a little. i think about the time W/we have spent together. i think about how W/we met, and about the first time He drew pleasure from using me, and about the day He collared me,.
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